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Old 08-19-2013, 02:04 PM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346

Hi. My dh & I are new to this but activities like swinging & fwb brought us here after I fell hard for bf that led to a lot of communication on polyamory. There have been intense momments of insecurity, jealousy as well as envy & today is happier for both of us than a week ago. Its an emotional roller coaster at times but communication has been the key to moving forward on this journey for us as well as both of us utilizing the forum.

Maybe have him come here & discuss what he is feeling. It does sound like he's pouting that he isn't getting what he wants. And if she is wanting a monogomous relationship she needs to probably break away from the two of you or there is more going on than the two of them are willing to admit. It could be time all three of you sit down together to discuss your relationships.

There is nothing wrong with having your own insecurities and for some women, our sex drive does die a little after having children. Our bodies change, we're stuck with those last few baby pounds that don't go away, we're exhausted from being our children's primary caregiver and pretty much come last during this time, putting hubby & kids first. You'll have to figure out what you want. What will make you happy? What steps can you take to love yourself, because if you aren't loving yourself, how can you feel sexy? How can you have a sex drive if your down in the dumps about who you are? And lastly, if you are feeling inadequate (physically, emotionally, spiritually) is this the right time for you to dive into polyamory? Do you yourself visualuze that you want another besides your husband or are you on this path of discussions to please him, make him happy? You are just as important in your relationship as he is.

For me, I lost my sex drive after my son was born (2nd child) & I didnt really find it until I qiit nursing him. My first, was not so long, but again after she self weaned. Now with my third (she's 2), I still nurse but my libido is in overdrive, but that could because of my age (40's) & that a year ago, when I was feeling frumpy, overweight, I had a co-worker in his late 20's hit on me. That was awesome for my ego, my self esteem. I lost 30 pounds in two months (have kept it off too). I'm giving my own life example so you know you aren't alone & it's normal to feel how you do.

Last edited by alibabe_muse; 08-19-2013 at 02:24 PM. Reason: typos
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