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Old 02-15-2010, 04:05 PM
sunnydee sunnydee is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 44

Originally Posted by darthsabbath View Post
Around the same time, I had to go out of town for a few months for an internship. Shortly before I left, my new sweetie and I went out one last time, and we agreed that it would probably be best that we put things on hold until she gets her life straightened out. I'm totally okay with that... I care for her very much, and I know that her needs come before my wants. However, I told her when I get back I would love to pick up where we left off when I got back, and she seemed to really like that idea.

I think this woman likes me... she's told me before how good I make her feel, how comfortable she is with me, etc. Even though she's currently going through bad times, I still see some of that when I talk to her... or maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see.

And so I'm confused. I want what's best for her... I want to give her space to get her life figured out, but the distance between us is starting to make me realize how much I want her in my life. I don't know that she is bold enough to come to me when (or if) she's ready to continue our relationship... that's very likely a step I'm going to have to make, and I just don't know when or how.
I may be reading this wrong, but it doesn't really sound like there's a problem here. You say that you both agreed that you put things on hold, but then you say you're not sure how she feels and you're not sure that she will contact you if she wants to. This makes me think that it was she that indicated she needed space and you are just feeling a bit insecure that if you don't keep your hand in, so to speak, that you might lose her. Maybe you just miss her?

It's ok to let her know you are there for her, if she needs you, and maybe to contact her after a few weeks to ask how she's doing, but, if she's really going to go through divorce... well, she really might need the space and you might just need to hang in there for a bit and wait til she's more settled to find out if you can pick up where you left off. It's probably a pretty crazy time for her and she really might go through some pretty radical emotional changes. It's clear that you already think that you shouldn't try to manipulate the situation more than that, and you're right. You might just need to wait and see. Hugs.
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