Originally Posted by redpepper
Um. I don't quite know how to say this to make a point but here goes. I asked you a couple of times if we can hang out in the last monthes. I thought you weren't interested so i backed away. I enjoyed our talk at that bbq a couple of monthes ago and thought you'd make a great friend yet my reaching out was to no avail.
See....this is kinda what I don't understand. This sentiment is very similar to my former friend of 20 years....who would randomly come at me after we hadn't seen each other in a while with " I thought we agreed that if we weren't going to be friends anymore we could at least be civil to each other!"
I don't recall the conversation she thinks we had since I just was running on the assumption that we were still friends.
So similarly here...I don't get why this is a future uncertainty...after all RP, we've been running this board and more than a few other circles together for years now...so apologies as I had figured that we were already friends.
As for doing stuff...that line of discussion is similar to the more recent friendship implosion...where I'd ask about doing something in general terms....but nothing solid ever came out of it. We had only spoken in general terms. We had never discussed an actual day or time. And knowing how busy your schedule is...I just didn't figure it was going to get wedged in anytime soon.
Its a similar and unrelated note that I tend to be running my schedule on a pretty short notice highish flex these days. I occasionally make long range plans with my busy friends who is never see without it...but otherwise I would probably just keep sitting at home. Its a cycle I need to break....but having trouble finding the impetus to.
So tonight I had a short fuse invite for bowling with a friend...and my wife was kind enough to flex here date plans so that I could go, and she'd watch the kids and a movie or something with her bf.
Well...bowling didn't take very long. When I got home it was pretty apparent that she and he had just been getting ready for their noisey bookie portion of the evening.
This shouldnt have been a problem I think...and my wife and I have some pretty specific rules about rooms and times for things like that so that we don't inadvertently kick ourselves out of our own bed. So I was pretty content to go back to my office with headphones and a loud computer game. It would have been inline with previous events.
But ...something was off. All very awkward. I offered....and she declined. But I still got the feeling I shouldn't be in my own house....at all. (Probably related to the know twitchness I'm still working through .... So I suppose I can't blame her)
So music bingo it is! This would have been EXACTLY the kind and number of evening where I miss the kind of friends from back home...because I could have put the word out an had at least one or two meet me out...even on such short or no notice.
Alas...I'm hoping my presence of just myself in the pub isn't conspicuous or pathetic....as I wait for the text that the sock had been taken off the door knob.
It's possible that these friends could exist here and perhaps I already know them. Just there's no history to give me the faith these days that they'll stand fast in the same way. Also most don't come out to play at the drop of a hat around here either. And apologies if you the reader is trying to be one of them...I may be that my faith has been shaken from recent events so the cynicism maybe blinding me at the moment.
I continue onto try and sort myself out as best I can....I make no apology if its not up to other peoples standards.
In the meantime....there's the text with the all clear...the rest of this entry should give them enough time to bask in the afterglow a bit.
I think the moral of the story tonight....is that next time I seem to be arriving at an inconvenient time.....I'll just circle the block or go for ice cream and let them finish....
PS: Apologies to LR and Ari....will get to your comments as well....just a lot to chew on.