Casual Sex - Discussion
I am in my first poly relationship, and though I am wired fairly mono, Iím finding that I really like a lot of aspects of polyamory. I love the openness and am really enjoying getting to know my boyfriendís other girlfriend and her boyfriend, and even sharing about other people we are interested in or dating. Iíve had very little jealousy in that area at all, despite what I expected going in.
However, I am struggling with a strong discomfort (not sure jealousy is the right word here) over some casual sex/nsa type encounters my boyfriend has had since weíve been dating, and more generally the number of people he is involved with. It just doesnít feel good, and on some level I feel like it devalues our relationship.
Iím trying really hard to just sit with it, stay open, and look at this intellectually, identify my insecurities, etc. Iíve read Ethical Slut. Iíve read through the articles at xeromag. Iíve read through posts here. Iíve talked to my boyfriend about it and shared how I feel (heís been very supportive , opted out of an opportunity recently, and essentially given me veto power though Iím not comfortable using it at this point). But for now at least the discomfort is there and fairly strong.
Iím wondering if anyone can share their perspective on casual sex, or how It has played into your relationships, or anything else that might help me sort through my feelings and find some peace around this issue.