View Single Post
Old 08-16-2013, 12:33 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,481

Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
She confided in both my spouse and I that she would like to date him but is afraid to ask her husband to date men (she dates women) meanwhile she and my spouse have flirted quite a lot.
So she hasn't actually had this conversation with her spouse? I'm not sure that is something that can reasonably be held against him if he's never even been given the chance to talk about it.

Is there a chance that he would be fine with your spouses dating? If they're poly, that would seem to be at least a possibility.

Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
SHould I tell him I'd really prefer a quad, and risk ruining the friendship?
I know that you have quad on the brain but again, I think you'd be a lot more successful if you date the person you are dating instead of focusing on setting up new quads. This current situation is a great example of the problem with "team dating" - if you took care of your relationships and they took care of theirs you would all be getting what you want right now. Since it must precisely be a quad structure now it sounds like none of you are going to get what you want.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote