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Old 08-16-2013, 06:36 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: South of Chicago, IL
Posts: 149

Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
So my spouse and i have made friends with this really awesome couple, all four of us click and get on really well. The husband expressed interest in me, and i tentatively agreed to date slowly (since i already have a spouse and a BF). Meanwhile, the wife and my spouse made a great connection and he likes her. She confided in both my spouse and I that she would like to date him but is afraid to ask her husband to date men (she dates women) meanwhile she and my spouse have flirted quite a lot.

So heres the thing, knowing he holds her back from dating my husband whom i want to be happy, makes me less interested in him, and my husband less inclined to liking him as a partner for me. Yes its on her to ask her spouse if she wants to make a quad (which she has thought about) but for me, having agreed to date him, Im not sure where to go from here. SHould I tell him I'd really prefer a quad, and risk ruining the friendship? If i bring it up, or just drop the dating idea entirely with him, im afraid we'll loose a new and important friendship (our first poly couple friends).

Any suggestions, advice, experience?
Advice/Opinion: A couple dating another couple is usually a bad idea. Too many points of failure. Keep the friendship and save the drama. They don't communicate very well, which tells you all you really need to know - if you think about it hard enough.
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