BDSM fits in strangely
Since I've just joined and don't know y'all well yet, I'm responding more to LovingRadiance's initial call for "thoughts, ideas, experiences, concerns, feelings, dreams, wishes, hopes, worries, frustrations etc on the topic", rather than replying specifically to everyone else's experiences (though it sounds like many of you are having awesome experiences that I'd love to hear more about!).
I live with my two partners, K and Z, and our relationship could be explained as a V formation. Z and I are both submissive, and K's vanilla but enjoys pleasing me. We're not exactly sure how it all works or how to satisfy each other, but we're figuring it out.
Z and I seem to be lifestyle submissives, but in completely different ways. His submission manifests as wanting to take care of someone, and mine manifests as wanting to be taken care of. He wears the apron, and I never set foot in the kitchen, and we both wind up feeling loved. In the bedroom, we each occasionally play the aggressor, boss each other around, etc., but we both prefer being the collared and scratched up one at the end of the day. I suspect we'd both enjoy more hardcore BDSM play, but we haven't found doms we'd want to claim us yet, and we're content to wait for them.
I'd love to hear more about how other people fit BDSM into their web of polylove, or don't.