If the other guy is possessive and controlling, of course its reasonable to be less attracted. A couple years ago I invited long time fb friends who I knew was poly but has never met. Instant attraction and ibwaa more than willing to date both. He wanted a one penis policy but when his wife expressed interest in my husband he was willing to work on.that, we all knew his comfort level ans proceeded slowly. Well the longer I knew him, the more manipulative hw appeared and the less attracted I was. Ultimately I broke things off with both to spare myself the drama. She and I.are good friends now, talking about maybe seeing her again.
Sue, openly in a vee with Nate (polysexual, many fwb) and Sam (Mono)