Originally Posted by AtlGayTriad
We are a gay couple who has become very interested in starting a Triad monogamous relationship with other guys.
Many, many couples new to polyamory want to protect their relationship from jealousy, so think getting a lover who will love and lust for them both equally is the way to go.
However, finding this new person is quite a problem! The chances are 10% or less that a new lover will fall in love/lust with both of you equally. Also, him taking on a couple with their own shared history is extremely difficult, for him.
Most poly people find dating separately works much better. So, say you (Guy1) find a bf. Maybe after you and he establish a relationship, he finds he also thinks your original bf is cool and sexy. Then you get your triad. Maybe he just likes your OB as a friend, or maybe there is no chemistry at all and they are merely polite acquaintances.
Not saying you won't hit the lottery and win 5 million bucks. But, what are the odds?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M
Old Friend, gender fluid
Nick, 35, M (occasional lover)
Hippie, 25 (?)
Dark Wing, 45 (?)