View Single Post
  #17  
Old 02-14-2010, 01:07 AM
classycaveman's Avatar
classycaveman classycaveman is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Winnipeg MB, Canada
Posts: 68
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
It seems there's this certain 'role' that parents take on when they have children that is actually personal. It's about them. Some kind of ego challenge to "bring up my child 'right'" And when they stick too rigidly to their own personal definition of "right" than any variance self-labels them as having failed.
I think there are a few reasons they try to control their children's lives. One is fear, that their children aren't making choices that will benefit them. (That's my parents. They think I'm going to hell.) Another is to justify their own decisions, a la Rachel McAdams' character's mom in The Notebook. If they can get their children to make the same life choices that they did, it gives more credibility to their own choices. Another is the perfectly human desire not to see all your hard work go to waste, whether they had a right to try to mold you into their own image or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
They don't want that rubbed in their faces. Rather they didn't know.
You're right, some do take rejection of their values personally, as if you are rejecting them as well. They're just trying to cope with the pain in whatever way works for them, without thinking about how it affects their child or their relationship.
Reply With Quote