Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 08-13-2013, 10:29 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
You were worried you would be bored out of your mind . Always on the go and being busy, busy, busy, is just as much of a habit as any other addictive behavior. I see it in my husband and my mother-in-law, it is definitely an addiction. Slowing down to a pace that is healthy for you and the family takes effort and practice and can be extremely hard at first, but the results pay off in the end.
I was worried, but it is not that bad. It has taken me years to slow down, but it has been worth it. I was a workaholic. I cannot see myself every going back to that point. I like being able to pick my children up every day. I like being able to attend her recitals. I like having energy to play with my son. I like not falling asleep and trying to have an important conversation with Matt. I feel like life has been breathed back in to me. I enjoy finally having time for myself. Before, there was no way I could squeeze it in. I am peaceful and relaxed.

WARNING!!! 10 is excessive for a mom of 2 that still wants to be active in their kids lives. Pick 1 to be actively involved with, and just donate money to the others. If you want to keep the slower pace you have set up for your kids, don't fall into this trap (addictive need to be busy). My husbands excuse was always, "but I'm doing this for the kids", but it took him away from the kids and they noticed. At one point it was so bad, that they started saying, "why do we need to ask dad, he won't be around anyway". When the kids go away to college, you can put your time into 10 charities.
I am still weeding them out, so it will not always be this many things at any given time. Generally, I lean more towards the ones that are family inclusive. I am more hands on, so I prefer to see things in action, do research, and learn about them. I could reach their respective websites, but I prefer to ask questions face to face and see where I am needed the most. Most events can be attended as a family. Last Sunday there was an afternoon tea to benefit Cerebral Palsy. I attended with my family and my best friend's family. It was 18 of us. There is carnival in a couple of weeks, which I will take my children to. All proceeds go to an art therapy program for children who are in remission.

OK, not as rich as the Queen, but... Sweety, these are rich (or the very wealthy) people problems. You may not be rich when you compare other couple in your same professions, but your income/net worth is so far above the average person, that it's hard to even comprehend. Time for a serious reality check. It's ok to have money, but it's not ok to be blind to the reality of your situation.
I am not really blind to it. I suppose I never think about it. It has always been normal to me. He thinks my parents overindulged me and spoiled me to the point that anything less than the lifestyle I grew up with would not work for me now. We have these discussions all the time. Examples. We are researching vehicles. He is looking at the vehicles that are suitable for a family like a Tahoe and Suburban. Much more reasonably priced and children friendly. I have my eye on the Jaguar XF, which is double the price which means a higher note. We are like night and day on the topic of finances. He is sensible, logical, and knows all the pros/cons. I just go with it.

Seriously take a look at how going ahead with this purchase, when your husband is not on board, will do to your marriage. Yeah, your using your money, etc. but this is supposed to be a partnership and ignoring his concerns is not going to win his trust.
It is a partnership. I am not planning on going behind his back. I told him what I was going to do, and he was none too pleased. I will hear him out and find out exactly why he is against it. I have no problem with that.
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