Originally Posted by Vixtoria
however someone wants to use them, I think, should be respected.
I have friends (though I wouldn't say I possess them) who prefer to utilize the pronoun 'ou.' It would be unfair to refer to ou in any other way. If a spouse is comfortable being refered to as 'your spouse' then just do what you're comfortable with. If not, respect his/her/ou choice.
Also, there is always a tension in language as it evolves. The choice that's 'wrong' may still be 'normal.' Don't sweat it too much. Respect is mostly in what you do, not so much the individual words you use.