Originally Posted by NowIKnow
I don't buy into this polyamorous requirement that if you are legally married to someone that your spouse has to also be romantically involved with the other person you are in love with.
Don't buy into it then. If it isn't for you then do something else.
I'm not sure where you are getting the information that this is the norm, maybe Vix is right and you are reading a lot of the introductions or dating sites. That is one very specific type of polyamorous relationship; unicorn hunters and/or the triad-quad arrangement. How those arrangements work is beyond me but I am told that periodically they can be quite successful.