I can understand if you are reading a lot of introductions it looks that way. On my local email list there are something like 800 members. Yet, there are only five that really post with any regularity and then each week we get between 1-3 introductions of couples that want to be poly, as long as they can find a third. So it does get exhausting and make you start to wonder if that is the norm.
Honestly, that is why I come here. You can, through reading posts, replies and blogs, get a clearer picture. There is no majority of poly that I can see here. There are different 'groups' if you want to look at it that way. Those that are married and poly, those that are single and poly, those looking for closed groups, those that are looking to keep things open, those that want all 'primaries' and living together, those that are not interested in cohabitations at all!
Believe me, the 'majority' of married couples are not like that at all. I do see your frustration though and hope that by reading more here and posting more you'll see that it is not the majority at all!
Hubby and Boyfriend have met once, and it wasn't until after Boyfriend and I had been dating over a year and more because of an emergency than anything! They still have only spoken directly once. While I was in surgery, a text to let the other know I was all right. It's not that they dislike each other, it's just that there is no reason for them to communicate really. We are all honest with each other and so communication can come through me on important issues and even joking. IF they felt the need to communicate or all three of us together we would. No problem, but there is no requirement at all for them to even like each other!
Me: Late 30s pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 19 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +4 year