Thanks opalescent. I know that learning about myself is the reason that all this is happening... or really what I should say is that it's the reason I am making these things happen.
Missing C terribly today and broke down this morning and wrote him an email where I tell him I miss him and love him. Will probably regret this later.. or not.. I don't know.
Feeling so lost and alone. And oh the danger of falling for someone just to fill that emptiness, and then falling prey to the same damn cycle of being attached, needing someone, becoming addicted to their attention.
I have a date with someone tonight who is not in that category fortunately. I met him for a first date 2 weeks ago and had a good time. It was nice to be with a person who doesn't know about everything that's going on in my life and just have a good conversation. I did not feel a strong attraction although I thought he was cute.. and had no clue what he thought of me.
He contacted me last week and proposed we go out to dinner.. so that's what we're doing tonight.
I do have doubts and second thoughts..am wondering if it wise to date at all right now? On the other hand, just sitting at home and grieving isn't all that nice either.
early forties, straight.