Communication is everything!
All I can think of about this topic, is that you really need to communicate with your partner(s).
Communication and compromise.
All sides have to agree, and all sides must be sure that they are being heard.
We all have our own ideas about something that is so villified about this (beautiful) form of relationship, so we are pioneers on this, all of us, as we are still discovering how to have a proper relationship.
Perhaps some of the dissatisfaction is rooted on someone afraid of not being heard on the relationship.
Talk with all the sides and be also ready to have your own thoughts on the matter blown to bits. We have to learn to meet half the way: all the sides.
And remember, not all arer tailored to have such a form of relationship, and the only way to find this out is to communicate how you feel.