And there isn't anything wrong with it
as if the people who are involved in your life have a hard time hearing anyone be referred to as "my such and such" then whether or not anyone chooses to be respectful in their presence is up to them.
And it depends on the situation as I see labels which signify your relationship in regards to the person (such as saying "My husband") as a completely different scenario than using the term "My so and so" or "My + (person's first name)"
but again, it depends how life was experienced by those people who are involved in your life, and what the terms symbolize or the meaning they carry for you and your loved ones in your life together. If the people in your life, live a life where those terms have deeper meaning, then it may be necessary for you all to be more conscious of specific words than others, especially in the words used among those involved in BDSM, which as others have noted it would very appropriate to use specific words to denote specific meaning, but to expect it from an outsider or else consider said outsider disrespectful when you they are not of the same life lived is a foolish way to understand the world and the people in it. As it will be seen as abusive
Which is why I do not have very much respect for sticklers or grammar, as so little of it is is used as the standard for clarity which was the purpose behind it as it is used today. Today it is used in ways that dishonored language, as language serves the purpose to communicate so that others besides yourself, can understand
So when grammar is enforced for reasons other than written law, as a framework to distinguish what is and what is not within the bounds of said written rules without addressing each and every possible act, when grammar serves the purpose that places rules and restrictions where one meaning is more easily understood and more precise, it is deleterious and creates problems within the form of language is was meant to solve.
there is nothing wrong with having your own way of communicating, no matter what rules you choose to abide by, so long as they are not used in abusive ways, as anytime preference is enforced over those who don't prefer it, my experience is the truth in the reason is not straightly admitted, and when it is, it is rarely a problem