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Old 08-13-2013, 05:21 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 422
Default Sounds poly isn't the real question

what we need to know is how close is your wife with your friend? If they aren't engaged in each other's life, and the only way they are really connected is due to their relationship with you, that sounds like a Vee configuration

If you had the courage to tell both your wife and your friend, and they both understand what honesty and respect means and choosing to behave in those ways regarding relationships (ie neither of them has let their relationship with you be significantly changed)

than I say you are all three poly, you just only have sex with your wife,

but I may be the only one to see things that way, and technically there is a reason why, I think it is because too many people have some mistaken ideas about love, and if your friend and your wife accepted you sharing your feelings but trust you enough to not let it affect their relationship with you, proves they have a good idea about what love means to them

so in regards to the three yous and your understanding of Love, yes you are all flaming polyamorists, but if you mention that to anyone else but me, it's likely they will assume that you are having sex with more than just your wife.

as poly as a word, to most carries the meaning of loving more than one person and sex is a way you physically express your love with the people who accept your love and offer their own love of you, for you to accept.

in short, most people understand "poly" to mean more than one relationship that includes love and sex

yet I believe that love, respect, and the practice of honesty betters aligns the meaning carried by the word "polyamory" or "poly (in regards to relationships)" than love and sex aligns

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 08-13-2013 at 05:23 AM. Reason: typos
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