There is no change on the poly front. I am continuing to keep my end of the deal; not contacting my ex, focusing on our marriage, listening to DH, stepping up my game in counselling, and just being around and available more. We are a constant work in progress. Our marriage is now being created on a blank canvas. We are in control of whether it turns in to a classic, timeless masterpiece, atrocity, or unexpected beautiful disaster. The amount of work we put in is directly related to the finished product. It is safe to say that we are working together to create something classic and time less.
DH and I are in a really in a good place. I love what I have with my love, and I am grateful and appreciative of what we have built together. I love learning about the man he has become and finding new reasons to fall in love with him. I love that he has taken an interest in the new things that bring me joy. He still has his interests, but they are not running his life. I am not worried about what I may want twenty-thirty years down the line. I have a good one on my team, and I am only worried about the present and maintaining this. Forget a label. Everything else has faded in to obscurity...*shrug*
I was reading my old posts within this blog, and I have come a long way. I was a pretentious, self-centred nightmare. I will never return to where I was. I have seen many positive changes in myself, and I am proud of the progress that we have made individually and jointly. Our marriage is healthy and our respective styles of communication are working beautifully. I understand him in a way that would have never been possible if the roles had not been reversed. We have several mini dates, impromptu dates, formal dates, and make sure to get QT in as a unit and a family. We do still eat breakfast and dinner as a family every day. We still spend the two hours together daily. Usually cuddling in bed while enjoying the quiet, a breakfast date at a local patisserie before work, private lunch at home or a nearby restaurant, and cuddling in front of a fire while talking about our respective days. Those two hours every day have made a hell of a difference.
I love not living by a schedule. If I want to make a froyo run with DH at midnight, I can do it. If I want to take my princess to get a manicure/pedicure, I can do it. If I want to go to the Pink concert with friends, I can do it. If I want to sit in my lounge, sip tea, and read a book, I can do it. I never have to worry where I need to be or who I need to be doing it with. I finally have time for myself. I have a calendar solely for the purposes of things pertaining to my children like a concert at her school tomorrow night or the PA meeting in a couple of weeks. Everything else, I just wing it. If I want to spend an unplanned weekend off the coast of Sydney with my family, I can do it. The level of simplicity my life has taken on has been a welcome change from the rat race I was living before. I needed to slow down because I was missing too much and wearing myself out.
The best reward is knowing that our children are much happier. I have seen a positive change in my daughter. She is quite an interesting little person and her views of the world are unlike any other child I have encountered. She is my baby, though. I always knew she was something special. I am spending more time with her and taking an active part in her school and extracurricular activities. She beams with pride when she sees me walk in to her weekly assemblies and what-nots. She is in two different dance classes every week, and I sit and watch her at both of them. We spend 30-45 minutes just talking after she gets out of school and before we pick up her brother. I love hearing about her day and all the excitement of going to school. It has been wonderful, and I firmly believe being a mum is hands down my greatest accomplishment.
I am in love with our new city. I have decided to find charitable causes to support. I have 10 charity related events on the calendar for the rest of August. I have decided to support organisations involving women and children. Especially the ones that help Sudanese victims and survivors, cancer survivors, and the families of bereaved. My contribution may be small but helping others feels natural to me. I am very fulfilled with working part-time and devoting time to charitable causes. I feel like my life has meaning and that I am something more than his wife and their mum. I have an identity and interests of my own.
The only issue DH and I are having is what my best friend described as "rich people problems." We are not rich, so I had to roll my eyes. We have investment properties in a few places. He is just not sure that we need any more properties. I disagree because I found this beautiful, contemporary beach home about 104 km from our current home, and I want it. Since he is not sure, "we" are not doing anything. I am buying it, though. I have done my research, and I know this home is a steal. Due to legal agreements before and after the marriage, I have to involve our attorneys because of the funds that will be used. Aside from that, if we ever divorce, I want to make sure that he does not try to include this new home as a marital asset because funds acquired during the marriage are not being used to purchase it or improve it.
Our former London home is now a holiday rental, and it has been booked solid since we moved out. My best friend asked to rent our villa in the Cote d'Azur from the 25th August to 2nd November, so whatever is spent on this new home will be earned back every week she and her family are there. I know how to pick prime real estate, and I know how to turn a profit. I choose homes that I would live in, and I would live in this one. Obviously, I know a little something, something, DH.
I have no complaints. The best thing I never knew I needed is the very thing I swore was never for me. I am off to read on the forums before I pick up my little duckies. I hope everyone who reads this is well. xo