If you want to love me you have to love my spouse?
I don't buy into this polyamorous requirement that if you are legally married to someone that your spouse has to also be romantically involved with the other person you are in love with.
I'm not saying it isn't possible, I'm just saying that if I find someone I love and wish to spend time with it shouldn't be required that my spouse accept them also.
My wife for the longest time couldn't understand why my best friend didn't want to hang out with her. I think I finally explained it to her that her brother-in-law doesn't want to hang out with her just the two of them but he will hang out with just me. It isn't that he doesn't like her it's just that he and I have a connection that he and her will never have and it's the same with my best friend. I don't hang out with her boyfriend not because I don't like him, I just don't have that connection with him.
Point is, I seem to see on this site the impression given that married couples only enter a poly relationship with a person they both have a connection with. I just don't believe that should be the way it "has" to be.