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Old 08-12-2013, 10:58 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,807

Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
... It's that kind of drama that I don't want in my life; someone getting pissy because I didn't capitulate to their demand (if "no" is not an acceptable answer, it is a demand).
This recalls to me an incident - Dude was being pissy about something and irritating me. At some point in the evening he asked if he could lay his head on my lap as I was sitting on the couch concentrating on the computer. I said "No". (It's hot and uncomfortable and I was still irritated with him enough that I wasn't willing to put up with that.) You would have thought that I slapped him . My response, "If I can't say 'no,' then it isn't really a question, is it?"

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
... Murky. Having said that, I kind of think that all communication involving humans is murky at best - even if one side of the conversation has perfect understanding, the humans murk it up.
Language, spoken OR non-verbal, is always limited and inexact. It's amazing to me that we manage to communicate at all.

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
To me, learning to understand a person well is the work of a lifetime. I'd be worried if my SO and I felt that we understood each other perfectly after 3 years together. To me, it would indicate that somebody was either lying deliberately or just misunderstanding and assuming that they did understand.

I hope we have many more years ahead of us to work on our ability to communicate with each other.
I totally relate to this. To completely understand another person you would have to BE them... MrS and I communicate well and we still (after 20+ years) are learning more and more about each other as the years go by (and, hopefully, will have many more decades to practice this).

Dude sometimes looks at me like I have grown tentacles. "I don't understand you ... AT ALL." That's OK, honey. We have only been together for 2 years - we are just getting started in the "getting to know" each other business. Mere moments in time. A quick flash. If you could know/understand ALL of me in so short of a time? Well, then, I wouldn't be a very interesting person, would I?

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 08-12-2013 at 10:59 PM. Reason: punctuation
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