Thread: A new adventure
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Old 08-11-2013, 08:38 AM
Amstel Amstel is offline
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Posts: 7

Hello JaneQSmythe,

Thanks a lot for your welcome, I appreciate it.

I must indeed be a completely new thing for you that one of your partners is exploring new significant relationships outside of your established concept. I am very curious what your experiences will be.

You are right about D, and although I strongly believe that everybody is responsible for his own happiness(D could have left is he really thought het couldn't/wasn't willing to handle it) I sometimes feel a little bit quilty about shaking up his world to this extent. S and me have been discussing the concept of loving more than one partner for about a year now, we have both experienced it before, but never acted upon it. For him it is something he cannot really relate to, as we speak he is doing it 'for her'. S and me see each other about twice a week and when she's with me he tends to call a lot and sometimes he asks her to come back earlier, or at once. I completely get how threatening the situation must feel for him, and I am more than willing to put up with it for a while, but I'm not sure this is the way to go. Tips for S on how to make him feel loved and secure, without constantly creating crisis-like moments are most welcome. I am not sure to what extent I can play a rol in this, but I see how difficult this is for S and D and I care about them a lot.

Apart from this issue, I feel very liberated and happy at this moment. At 25 I finally found out the enormous freedom I have to create my own live and my own standards, and it feels thrilling! I see so much interesting possibilities that I am almost overwhelmed by it at times. I still have so much to learn though, so I will take it one step at the time. For now I try to be as loving as I can be, and maintain beautiful, mutually beneficial and inspirational relationships with my two lovers.

I am very bookish, so tips about books are also very welcome. I am very interested in the practical and social aspect of polyamory. How do you make it work in your life, on a practical level. How do you find the time for both yourself and your partners? I am severely ADHD and I have a slight tendency to overestimate my own capacities and underestimate the time that I need to recover, and just you know 'be'. How do you make sure you take good care of yourself, while being very much in love? I am also very interested in the more 'philosophical' ideas behind polyamory. On which believes do you base your polyamorous life style? Just to sketch and idea of what I hope to learn from this forum, I don't expect anyone to start answering all those questions at once, tips for books however, are most welcome.

Ok, gotta go and work, have a good day!
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