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Old 08-10-2013, 04:53 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,836

Originally Posted by fuchka View Post
Holy hell.

Grotto loves me so much.

We just chatted online, and he told me he's okay if I see where things go with Lobe.

What he needs:
- reassurance
- for me to move back soon and
- me to take care of him.

All these I can do.


I asked how long he's thought this way (some time) and whether he was sure (yes) and whether he felt pressure from me (no). He said this was coming from a place of love, because he could tell there were feelings involved.

He said he wanted a continued restriction on having casual sex with his friends, but this was an exception.

This is a huge deal.

... I have no idea how this is going to turn out...

... whether Lobe will even be interested...

I hung out with him all night last night. We were conscious of the boundary required and we did not fuck up. Maybe some slight slippage but we caught ourselves and behaved.

Lobe cares about Grotto very much. He likes him and doesn't want to hurt him.

I can empathize with where you are right now. I messed up with Dude before we got things sorted out. Which led to a 3 mos period of Dude being cut out of our lives completely (which was necessary at the time but hard on all three of us - because we all DO care about each other). (You can read the whole sordid tale in my Journey blog here.)

There were several stages to us getting things right. First was Dude and MrS reconciling. Then 3 months of taking it slow and doing things "right". But when MrS got to the point of being comfortable with me and Dude exploring things...Wow. My husband loves me THIS much...God.

Go slow. Deep breaths. Be gentle with yourself and each other. And Good Luck.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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