Thanks for the reply!
I've suspected that I may be an Aspie, but there is no formal diagnosis. He knows how I feel; we have talked a lot since we've opened up. He's good with this for now. He's currently involved with someone who doesn't want any attachments. The realization that I see love as only what we have is a fairly recent revelation, and were talking about all of the things "being in love" can mean. He is so patient; I'm really lucky
I have hooked up a couple of times online, but it has felt very unfulfilling. I also have cut things off while chatting online because the intensity of what's happening gets a little overwhelming. At that party I mentioned before we met some nice people that have become friends. One thinks I would do better within the swinging community, so that's something to try.