Adding: when we have a partner already, as ethical poly sluts, when we meet a new person, we really can't act like a mono person with no responsibilities. I mean, we CAN, but imo that wouldn't be ethical.
We can't just swan off into NREland with New Person, neglecting our other lover(s). I mean, that would be very rude! We take original lover's feelings into consideration. We may feel like seeing new person every day. Having sleepovers sooner rather than later. Gushing about New Person to other lover even!
No, we just can't do that. Polyamory takes more finesse and control than that.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37