not the word "My" before a "noun"
I don't give that particular grammatical label any thought because there are so many grammar "rules" that have been adopted, fabricated on the fly for the sole purpose of maintaining an abusive level of control over others. The English Language, and the two forms of it that grammar that grammar attempts to constrict, namely written and spoken -- are for the most part completely unrelated to the form of the English Language known as conscious thought. Because I view the majority of grammar as either worthless, or a device used to facilitate abusive control, I don't allow it in my life unless I am programming.
I firmly believe everything above and beyond the most basic rules -- and only for the purpose of standards, and only because standards main purpose and reason to exist is only to lend itself the labors so that people may understand -- and everything that a native speaker is taught about the mechanics would benefit natives speakers if they never learned as by far the most beneficial knowledge of grammar is to know it intuitively. I firmly believe that children would all have a much easier time with their entire academic career if school was postponed two more years and children were much more practiced and stronger knowledge of core grammar in spoken form, long before they can even write or recite the alphabet. As if it the spoken word form that has by far the greatest impact on the form of English known as conscious thought, but this is already too far off track so I won't rail against pendants and all the damage they inadvertently do to all users of the English language, especially the written form.
as the label "possessive" give to the first person word "My" is roughly about the point where anything further interference and restriction grammar imposes of the written word is deleterious.
when I say "my friend" or "my *anything*" which I did not create, purchase (and in significant possessions having an allodial title) the term "my" is only to convey the relation to the noun in the context I am speaking of it, so the only technical "possession" "My" has is of the word, AKA only in communication, transmission, receipt, etc..., and NOT and possession of the noun as it exists in the State of Isreal
So when you said
Originally Posted by Petunia
I recently had someone tell me I should ponder this as he felt I was using the term "my husband" possessively in my thinking which made me feel bad and has led to this examination.
I would tell him (or the female influenced by him), I am his only wife, he is not "our" husband, or if he does another SO whom he is equally committed to then perhaps " Our Husband " would be more appropriate
otherwise I don't like it when non-monogamists become fixated on assigning other people's relationships to mean ownership. As it comes off as a petty way to deal with their insercurities about non-monogamy or polyamory, and feels to me like they are tryng to convince themselves they are justified in their actions.
One does not need to justify non-monogamy, as there is absolutely nothing wrong when all parties involved are fully informed and aware and desire it.
Nobody has any right to ownership over anybody, unless it is the will of they are "owned" and they are fully knowledgeable adults who explicitly consent to being owned.
I don't like it one form of love intentionally belittles another way to love in odere to feel justified in their own way of loving
I am well aware of the not so distant past when idiot men took it upon themselves to frame their minds that they had ownership of their wives and girlfriends, and it does not matter how much a person thinks
he owns another, the only thing it does if forfeit significant ownership of his self. And if he is dumb enough to do so ten times, the whole ten tenths of his own, which he was previously in charge of, is lost , and likely forever.