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Old 08-10-2013, 04:30 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Holy hell.

Grotto loves me so much.

We just chatted online, and he told me he's okay if I see where things go with Lobe.

What he needs:
- reassurance
- for me to move back soon and
- me to take care of him.

All these I can do.

...

I asked how long he's thought this way (some time) and whether he was sure (yes) and whether he felt pressure from me (no). He said this was coming from a place of love, because he could tell there were feelings involved.

He said he wanted a continued restriction on having casual sex with his friends, but this was an exception.

This is a huge deal.

... I have no idea how this is going to turn out...

... whether Lobe will even be interested...

I hung out with him all night last night. We were conscious of the boundary required and we did not fuck up. Maybe some slight slippage but we caught ourselves and behaved.

Lobe cares about Grotto very much. He likes him and doesn't want to hurt him.

Man.

Not sure how to take the news. Relieved! Petrified! Wish Grotto was in bed with me right now, just want to hold him and sleep.

Ocean's here in a couple of days. He and Lobe get along well together, and three of us were planning to catch up anyway.

Happy families? Haha. Haaaaar.

!!

Djuna stood me up again this morning for Skype date. Again as in, she's often been unable to make dates. Although I am concerned about letting her know, when I'm going to be late, she usually just doesn't do this. And apologises afterwards. I'm getting a bit sick of it, cos I feel I do make an effort.

Maybe I should mirror the amount of effort she puts in, more.

Maybe it's time to scale back expectations. As in, have none?
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