Originally Posted by willowstar
He is convinced that getting a GF for himself will solve his insecurity issue, because then he has someone else also, someone to give him some time and attention. I have tried to (gently) explain to him that this is not a good solution and he needs to figure out what is really going on for him.
I agree with you, it's not fair to whatever woman he goes after to simply be a role to fill. I've dated guys who I realized, after the fact, simply wanted a girlfriend, not me. So this is somewhat of a relationship issue, not just a poly one.
Actually developing a relationship with another woman is probably the healthiest thing he could do, but only once he's in a good place.
Once he realizes choosing to live a poly lifestyle with you means the ability to be with another woman (should he meet one and fall in love naturally), I think he may be very happy and grateful to be with you