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Old 08-09-2013, 08:39 PM
willowstar willowstar is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 74

Originally Posted by PolyPA View Post
I understand that they're are problems in the relationship but how does taking sex off the table help?? If you're not getting your needs met at home, let your husband know. Taking sex off the table when sex was happening on a regular basis, would frustrate someone beyond belief. I think this would just fester and fester.

Just my 5cents
PolyPA, I was not taking sex off the table as punishment or to "solve the problems" in the relationship. I did it because I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX. And I had been doing it to please my husband, keep him happy, and to keep the peace. It was not about being GGG (Good, ?Giving and Game) a la Dan Savage. That I can do easily (hmm, no I wasnt really thinking of giving a blow job tonight, but I could do that for you, sure...).

I understand that my decision affected my husband, and he was not happy with it. However, this is one of those areas in which it's tricky, I think, to say to people that they should just give their partners what they need in a relationship. When people say that to me, it feels very much like "Just give him what he wants honey, and keep your man happy..." Very 1950's "how to please your Husband" mentality. Yuck.
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming... ~ Dori

Willow ~ 44yo bi woman, married to TB for 18 years
TB-Maybe poly/maybe mono straight man
BF-Mostly mono, married, but poly friendly boyfriend since Jan 2013 (also my high school BFF)
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