Originally Posted by Flowerchild
True, but why not strive for what you want?
Well, sure, but it's important to note that there's a difference between having a fantasy configuration in mind and pursuing it. You never want to be "collecting partners" just to fit into whatever poly arrangement seems appealing. People should come first, not configurations!
So, striving is fine as long as one is not striving to find people just to be part of whatever ideal situation we dream about. That would be ill-advised.
However, striving to socialize more, meet people, and be open to possible relationships is a better goal. It's great to have hopes that maybe one of them will hit it off with you, and then seeing if their life can coincide with yours, but never have the configuration as the primary objective.
And for Solos, it's important to make sure we establish our own personal boundaries. Anyone we get involved with should be aware of our boundaries and respectful of them. We Solos need to be careful that we're not entering a situation where we're expected to fulfill some unrealistic fantasy configuration for other people.