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Old 08-09-2013, 04:26 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,703

Your faith is shifting, you've had some major losses recently, moving into poly, etc. That's a lot going on all at once. Make no big major life altering decisions right now, let things settle down a while. I remember feeling very similar to how you describe when I started to alter my religious/political views away from my husbands. It settled down after I finally found peace with my beliefs. Once I was comfortable with where I stood and not just fighting against everything I once new, I didn't feel so off balance (the only way I can think to describe it) with my husband.

It almost sounds like your in what I call the "supposed to" trap. I'm supposed to have friends from the same religion, I'm supposed to feel a specific way about my husband, love is supposed to feel... However, spending your life trying to achieve the "supposed to" ideals, leads to a great deal of unhappiness. I spent years trying to make friends within a one specific group or another, there was never that connection were I felt comfortable enough to spill my secrets. When I pulled away from the church and some of my husbands activities I did find some really good friends that I connected with almost instantly. Of course much of this realization of what I'd been doing (to myself) hit me while the husband and I were going through one of our worst times and almost divorced.

Do you and your husband work good together as a partnership with kids and household? If so why give that up because you think you SHOULD feel a certain way. No reason to replace the car just because the it need brakes and tires. It's not uncommon for couples in long term marriages to no longer share the same interests and hobbies.

About the concert - If you like to push your way to the front, why didn't you? Talk about it before hand (don't surprise him ) and coordinate a meeting time and place for afterwards and other contingencies, etc. He may enjoy watching you get wild but just not want to participate. I know I feel anxious when I know my husband is not doing something, because he feels I don't want to do it and instead of talking to me and making plans he just stays with me and is bored.
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