Thread: Sailing Solo
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Old 08-09-2013, 03:42 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 901

A big change since the last post.
C wants to go on a "hiatus".
We had the 3some on Wednesday, I could tell C wasn't that into it, I asked if he wanted to stop and he said no. After we finished came the phone call, he is confused, doesn't know what he wants, didn't like the BDSM ( which he asked to see) , didn't like me being called a sub, didn't like that A has 3 other subs ( play partners only). He says he isn't jealous and seeing me with another man wasn't an issue.
He is the one that pushed and pushed for this. Be careful what you wish might just get it.
My initial reaction was to try and fix it instantly, stop seeing A, no more BDSM play, get an updated STD test, which I have booked for 2 weeks anyway as a matter of routine, give him whatever he wants to feel comfortable again.
Saner heads have suggested that I just step back and give him time and not try to "fix it". I am showing the same behavior that I had with N 2 weeks ago, the knee jerk, " What can I do to make things right?" I don't like seeing people uncomfortable and try to change my behavior to make things better, rather than let them work through their feelings and let them ask for what they need.
His ego has been bruised for whatever reasons and either he comes to terms with that by himself or he doesn't.
I am very sad that he feels the need to pull away and it will be challenging not to reach out. He says he wants to remain in contact through the hiatus. I am on the fence about this. On one hand I want to be supportive and positive and on the hand if he needs time then he should really take it.
Here is the last communication from last night.

C: As I was saying. I would like to put everything on a hiatus if that's okay with you. Great if you are done then let me know and I will fully understand. That's where my head is at right now. I'm sorry. I would like to stay in contact but I understand if you don't want to do that either, I will understand.

ME: I respect your need to time clear your head. My thoughts...
The mfm did not go as hoped, so either we accept that and move on in good faith, or you cannot deal with the fallout and want to end it.
I enjoy spending time with you and playing with you, I hope we can continue with that. The ball is in your court.

I am not sure, what do y'all think?
Me: mid 40s female.
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