Just extending to you greetings and welcome. Heh... I myself am new on this forum as well. We.. all have our reasons for being here and from all I have read there is a weath, of experience here. The trick is asking the right questions I think.
I am involved in my own mess so I regret that I am unable to offer you any clear insight into your concerns. Frankly to do so would most likely be a situation of the blind leading the blind.
I would dare say that I am poly but yet I am still seeking a true sense of what that MEANS. To myself and to the others in my life. I pray that the inquiry you put forth here will be answered in a method that can best speak to your heart and mind. Good luck and best wishes.