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Old 08-09-2013, 03:44 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

Originally Posted by Flowerchild View Post
Yes, but if you were monogamous, people would KNOW your relationship status. I mean, the entire world? No. But your friends and family.

You can easily hide being poly if you're, say, dating people from OKC, but nothing serious. Or if you're poly by nature, but not by practice. But if you're, say, dating a married couple, well, it becomes very different.

Either you hide that you're with someone, you come out to a select few, or you say, screw it, and just let anyone who crosses your path know...but, whatever you do, I mean, surely it gets tricky?
People *assume* everyone is mono. That is the default societal norm. I *don't* know nor do I assume others I see are mono. If I was mono in a mono society, then yes, their assumption is going to be correct.

I think of it like religion. I am an atheist. I live in the Bible Belt. I have had very sweet, devout Christian old ladies assume I share their beliefs. When they tell me they will pray for me if I am faced with a challenge, I accept their offering with the intent intended. I don't tell them their offering means nothing because i don't believe in God. Why would I do that? they are showing compassion. That is all that counts to me.

So yes, if you were mono people would assume correctly; if you are not they will assume incorrectly.

If I were dating a married couple - and I have - we kept it under wraps to the neighbors, because the children were too young to understand if one of the parents freaked and didn't allow their children to play with the couples' any longer. In that case there could have been consequences that the kids couldn't handle. When the three of us were out somewhere no one knew us, and the kids would not be exposed to attitudes they couldn't cope with, then we went on display.

So I would say pick and choose depending on the circumstance. Me? I have no problem dealing with other people's ignorant views if I must, but I certainly wouldn't put children in a position to have to deal (these children were young 8 and 10), nor would I endanger my job. After that, yeah, it is everybody else's problem; not mine.
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