We were out, and almost everyone knew--including my oldest baby. Did I just tell every random clerk at Waitrose or the server at Clos Maggiore? No. Only people who mattered or played a significant role in my life. There were quite a few people who did not know like people on the job (could not lose my livelihood), grands and great-grands, etc. It would have been no issue to mention poly to certain people. We were out but not shoving it down people's throats.
Things have changed quite drastically now. We are no longer open/out and never will be again. My DH has now flat out refused to be out. He took it another step and said that he did not want our children to ever be associated with or around poly again. During counselling, he told me that I was free to do what the hell I wanted but that I could not and would not drag him or our children down that path they never wanted to go down in the first place. He is the mono partner, but sadly, he and my baby paid the price for what was basically my and my ex's decision to be out. With this decision, my loved ones have dismissed that part of my life like it was a phase and filed it under DND; do not discuss.