Instead of being pissed off that your husband is not like you, learn about him. He sounds like an introvert while your very much an extrovert. Your need to always be out "doing something", going places, busy, busy, busy likely pushes him to withdraw further (I do this). So, if he's sucking-it-up and hiding all his anxiety about doing things to make you happy, it's not surprising that he fights to withdraw from everything and neglecting himself in the process. For years all my hobbies were stashed away in a closet because all my husband's and kids activities put me in a mentally exhausted space, there was nothing left to do things I enjoyed, included finding friends and people that "I" could connect with - I was stuck with people I was "supposed" to be friends with (church, scouts, other parents, etc), which made the drive to be anti-social even stronger.
Do some google searches on introverts and it's very likely that you will see some striking similarities to your husband and it will give you a better understanding of him. Just because you don't "get" his way of relaxing and how he recharges his batteries, doesn't mean it's bad.
If I want to do anything "spontaneous" I have to spend a time getting into the right head space. For our anniversary one year, the plan was, get in the car an just go someplace - no plans, no reservations, no destination, except we packed minimal camping gear. I spent a month trying to get in the right head space for this trip. My husband learned years ago that if you just spring something on me, I will say NO, but give me a head up and a few hours to think about it, then very likely I'll be game.
Last edited by SNeacail; 08-08-2013 at 08:14 PM.