My suggestion: pause.
Stop trying to find an answer.
Because sometimes, oftentimes, if we stop pressing forward, stop struggling, the answer will come to us instead of us looking for it.
You have said you don't want to create the upheaval for your kids that a separation would create, so, don't.
You want this amazing love you don't have right now. Ok-so open yourself to the possibility of it coming at some point. Maybe with someone you haven't even met yet.
This weekend, I lost a friend. She died suddenly, unexpectedly.
I read all of the posts myriad people posted on her fb. People she had never met in person, people she had only met once, writing LONG, DETAILED stories of how she had shared her love, her passion, her strength, her hope, her enjoyment of life with them.
She touched people so deeply because she was confident in herself and didn't close people out because they weren't "everything" she hoped for or dreamed of in a partner.
My point in sharing this is; these things you bring up aren't "either or" issues.
This man, you love him. He loves you. He supports you in being yourself and doing what you need to do.
We all need this in our lives and too often people. Ever find someone like that.
It doesn't mean you can't dream of more. It doesn't mean you can't remain open to meeting someone who gives you passion and ease and comfortable etc etc.
But why give up one for the other?
Such a mono mindset there.
Maca is passionate and intense.
GG is much as you describe your guy.
Except Maca isn't social and GG is social (just not with my kind of people).
I could continue the list. But the gist is, just pause. Let things be what they are. Enjoy what you have, keep an open heart to new people.
"Love As Thou Wilt"