I personally do not associate any emotional response to the terms Primary and secondary. I see them very clearly as a way to identify which relationships have greater impact in the sum total of a persons life. In other words, if one person were to all of a sudden disappear who would affect your entire life the most? I identify as a secondary. I have done this for over a year and see no insecurity or sense of less importance in this. I see a very clear understanding of what I bring to the relationship in broader areas beyond being a loving partner; child care, household management, financial contribution for example. The impact of my absence would be less than that of Polynerdist (the primary) therefore I see myself as secondary.
I understand resistance to something that may imply less importance...but I also accept that to look at both relationships in Redpepper's life logically from a "impact" standpoint, I am in fact less important. So what?
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over