View Single Post
Old 08-08-2013, 06:27 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

What does being "equal" mean to you? Equal is not the same as fair. She might be perfectly happy staying where she is and not getting all tangled up in the everyday lives of the two of you. You don't all have to live together for everyone to be treated fairly and with respect, love, kindness, and consideration. I'd say the first thing you should do is stop referring to her as "the third" and keep yourself in check if you ever start thinking in a Couple Plus One mindset instead of One Plus One Plus One. There are four relationships happening here: you and him, you and her, her and him, and all three of you - so, just always remember that you are all individuals! Don't assume that she has the same dreams and ideals that you do!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote