Originally Posted by Flowerchild
So, my SO was talking about how his other SO is jealous, sometimes, of the fact that he wants anyone but her. And, today, he and I were talking, and he tells me how he knows that deep down, I really wish he wanted me above all other women.
I really think I don't....and I'm not looking for ways to convince him...but the weird thing, is he's okay with this. He says that's normal for women, and that we're all like that.
I honestly disagree with him, and when he says stuff like that, I usually reply with something along the lines of he's too annoying to deal with 24/7.
Should I be concerned that my poly boyfriend thinks I wish he were monogamous?
A couple of months ago one of my three boyfriends started being a jerk because he felt like we were "too monogamous". He knew I had two other men in my life but the reality of how much energy I put into splitting up my attention wasn't a reality for him. His language and behavior began to hint at verbal abuse and raised a red flag. I couldn't find a way to rationalize his perspective and my interest in him just died one day. I cancelled our future plans and we abruptly stopped talking. We've run into each other at parties and are on good terms. It took breaking up to get it through to him that I wasn't angling for the girlfriend role he was anxious about so we're exactly where we need to be - platonic.
I don't know all the details of your situation, and it seems like you're aware of this guys flaws. It's worth putting up your red flag about chauvinistic behavior in polyamory. Sometimes people just aren't on the same page.