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Old 08-07-2013, 05:37 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by Darkling View Post
As for me picking the right person...I think that the right person would be, a.) someone that my husband and I met at the same time, not someone who I met independently that he didn't know, b.) Someone that he at least knew/liked, c.) someone who was either my husband's age or older, d.) someone who was also a parent . . .
It sounds like you're talking about the "right" person for your husband to approve of, rather than who is right for YOU to be (potentially) involved with. However, this guy could have all the attributes you mentioned, and your husband could still be uncomfortable or struggling. You and your husband are two individuals, and each of you will have relationships (including platonic friendships) with people that the other may not really understand/get along/have an easy rapport with. Those relationships have their own dynamics, and they can be wildly different from the dynamic you have with your husband - and that's perfectly OK.

The who shouldn't be as important to him as the how, I think. You and husband need to keep communicating about how are you going to approach this while being respectful of each other, yet also acknowledging the autonomy and agency each of you are entitled to in living your own lives as you see fit.
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