Originally Posted by Flowerchild
Does it make it harder for straight couples to be poly, as they can't really be fully integrated with their respective partners, but each has to date on their own?
How do you get around that, if so?
It sounds like you think each person who is part of a couple is "supposed to" keep everything "equal" in terms of involvement in multiple relationships, so that everyone "gets" the same thing, or that everyone is "supposed to be" involved with everyone else in order to "be poly" or make it all "fair." You seem to have been fed some interesting ideas.
There is no rule that each of you has to be involved with the same people. There is no rule that when one person in a couple has other partners or lovers, that the other person in the couple is supposed to also have other partners or lovers at the same time, or in the same amount. There is no rule that things are supposed to be "equal." There is no rule that poly people should be bisexual for it all to be fair (whatever that could mean!) to everyone. There is no rule that poly people should be having threesomes in order to be "really poly."
Look, all poly means is that if you are part of a couple and have consented to being in a polyamorous situation, then either you or your partner may or may not have other loving relationships at any given time. That's all!