Well, is the name "amaranth" readily attributable to her? If so, remember that this forum is publicly available and gets googled, so that anyone could search for that name and find posts on here about it.
It is for this reason that I use a different name here than most of my offline friends know.
And yes, it sucks.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb