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Old 02-10-2010, 11:09 AM
Confused Confused is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 147

I'm sorry, I'm a newbie to this forum and don't feel qualified to weigh in really but I've been thinking so much about the situation in monogamous relationships where one person wants more sex than the other, and it seems so common for parents of young children. Most of my friends fall into this camp, as do I (I mean parents with young children, not sexless relationships). Married and monogamous, I have a 5year old girl and an almost 2 year old. Its definitely not true that nobody gets sex though right after having children, my sex drive never wavered even a little thankfully.
I'm stunned that anyone would consider having an affair or walking away from their marriage rather than just be open and honest with their partner about their needs. A couple of years ago I heard from my husband that he was struggling with finding me physically attractive and would like me to lose weight and dress nicer. That was a really hard thing for him to tell me, but I heard him and I listened and I'm so much happier for it, and we're so much closer together. I can't help but imagine if he had not gathered up the courage to tell me this and just left instead, or had an affair that we wouldn't have the wonderful trusting relationship that we finally have.

We've been discussing polyamory together more as another thing that we could share, because of a friend who suddenly appeared in our lives in a different way to what we were used to. I don't know if we will ever go ahead with any of it but reading and learning all about it is where I am at right now, but it seems that having an already healthy relationship beforehand might be a good prerequisite.

Last edited by Confused; 02-16-2010 at 06:17 PM.
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