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Old 08-07-2013, 11:20 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 431
Default it sounds like the standard new relationship

problems. All any of us can say is what helps make the situation easier and what makes it worse, from our personal standpoint. I am sure she is aware that she isn't spending as much time with you, and hopefully you can find a way to talk to her about it without her getting defensive.

Because evidently she doesn't understand that you are not just being whiney and that you really aren't OK with it, and you don't need our permission to give you the green light to NOT be OK things the way they are.

Some people actually react worse when they know that they've been a bit neglectful, it seems like it should be different, but it happens, usually because they're caught off guard. When react inappropriately, or harshly when a friend comes to me with their concerns, I think it's important to make sure I go back and let them know that I realize I was wrong.

That really makes a big difference

I know I would feel a lot less frustrated and confused if I were in your situation and she called to apologize upon realizing that she wasn't being very considerate. Sometimes just a few acknowledgments make a world of difference, and then suddenly you might be a whole lot more understanding.

It's really the only way to stop the slow build up of resentment, which happens quick when stuff like this happens, especially when every time you attempt to voice your concerns you get snapped at. I am not saying that it's not completely her fault and there is nothing your could have done to change the way you approach her, but whatever it takes so that you both start moving in the direction of being more understanding, you need to do it.

Bitterness is not good

Because if it gets to the point where you tried broaching the subject as gently as possible and she still doesn't hear you, then you have to decide if you are going to be patient enough to allow her to tap dance on your heart just a little. Some people can take it, but new relationship energy didn't get it's own acronym for nothing, it ruins many relationships.

Just be careful you don't turn into the people that hate each other because you stay together when she honestly sees nothing wrong with her behavior and you honestly feel neglected, because that isn't the way people treat each other when they care about each other's well being.

Hopefully she doesn't expect you to just deal with it. Because in the same manner that you wouldn't want someone to spend time with you unless they really wanted to, I don't think anybody wants to be treating partners in ways they are not OK with.

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 08-07-2013 at 11:41 AM. Reason: typos
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