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Old 08-06-2013, 09:38 PM
Petunia Petunia is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Talula
Posts: 704
Default Relationship labels: possessiveness or connectivity

When you think of someone special in your life as "my husband", "my boyfriend", "my wife", "my girlfriend", "my lover", (insert appropriate label) does it elicit feelings of possessiveness, as in "s/he's mine," or connectivity, as in this person is someone of value in my life and I am connected to them in this special way?

If you feel possessiveness due to these labels, do you chose to use other terms that carry less meaning to change your perspective? Such as, "the wo/man that I'm married to" or "the person I'm dating"?

I recently had someone tell me I should ponder this as he felt I was using the term "my husband" possessively in my thinking which made me feel bad and has led to this examination.
Petunia: 52 year old, straight, cisgender female
Bond: 47 year old straight cisgender male, Primary Partner
B: Bond and Petunia's 41 year old girlfriend
Bea: Bond's former 41 year old cisgender girlfriend
M: Bond's former 46 year old cisgender bisexual ex-girlfriend
Golden: 42 year old male, ex-boyfriend, ex-housemate
Twitch: 46 year old straight cisgender male, ex-husband, father to Shasti's son
Shasti: Twitch's 46 year old straight cisgender girlfriend, mother of Twitch's son
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