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Old 02-09-2010, 04:41 PM
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xmakina xmakina is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Oxford
Posts: 13

I think I'm going to agree with CielDuMatin.

Whilst the actual wording is to be considered, the much more overriding factor is context and delivery.

Calling someone your primary/secondary makes for a quick and easy way to convey your set up with two people. Most poly people know that a primary is usually someone you live with/are committed to in more ways than just dating (living arrangements, marriage, fluid bonded etc.) whilst a secondary is usually someone you are only dating.

Using the terms in a degrading, hierarchical way, however, is pretty awful. As has been quoted already "You're only a secondary" is, to me, a sentence that will get someone dumped faster than a sack of lead bricks.
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