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Old 02-09-2010, 01:47 PM
Ravenesque Ravenesque is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 297

Oh you so rock. I completely agree. I don't use these terms. I prefer a non-hierarchical approach to polyamory.

These words are steeped in negative connotations of gold medal, silver medal, first place, second place for me. I would not want to make anyone feel lesser than by using them. The claims that these terms make it easier don't gel for me and I've encountered many at different stages in their poly lives who don't use the words or who use the words completely differently from what others think they should be used. An example is having primaries who do not share the household with you etc.

Descriptive terms about my relationships are what I prefer when it comes to differentiating. I like the words 'loves' and 'lovers.' I like sappy terms like 'nesting' to describe the living dynamic between me and my love as well. Boyfriend and girlfriend are fine. FWB is fine. It all depends on what I feel. I had a conversation with someone yesterday evening about the term "beau" and its newer version "boo." I just cringe at both to be honest.

In general, I prefer words that describe what we feel we are to each other and what we do together.


Last edited by Ravenesque; 02-09-2010 at 04:41 PM.
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