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Old 02-09-2010, 11:23 AM
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xmakina xmakina is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Oxford
Posts: 13

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Our boundaries are always changing, because we are all personally growing.
When we first agreed to poly, the rules were... well ridiculously strict....
Hah! Seconded.

To be honest though, I think it helped much more than it hindered. Going in with a strict rules-of-engagement meant that nothing would be done that both couples weren't 100% comfortable with.

"But ever changing it just sound like a battle" -- think of it more as a journey from monogamy to polyamory. In the same way Rome wasn't built in a day, un-learning monogamy takes a while.

If I may, my personal experience was that when we first started it was a case of "only with the same gender". Now she's got a boyfriend with the only rule being "let me know when you've slept with someone new" and that's only there for the standard sexual health & safety.

These rules have eased as I've become more comfortable with her exploring the poly side of herself and I've come from not wanting to see her with other men to encouraging her to going out on dates It wasn't overnight, so don't worry too much if things don't seem to be moving. Poly is something you need to measure changes in weeks or months.

Best of luck - hope to see you more around the place
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