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Old 08-05-2013, 03:54 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,275

I'm more looking for advice on knowing when/if (for a couple moving into poly for both of our very first times) it's safe to move into taking action, re:dating.
Only you know that for sure. More than just the desire to date is on the table. There's time to date, money to date, what else is going on in your life right now, etc. Human and non-human resources.

Like I said, if this is just a one off movie date -- go ahead. Put a toe in the water. If you want to cultivate something bigger though? Could plan first to make the space required for it to go well and assess the skills and resources you each may need.

Like if you have some HUGE thing at work right now, maybe wait til the project is over so your TIME resource isn't so pinched. If you were more experienced maybe that wouldn't be a biggie, but if you are new, waiting til a less stressy time might serve you better. YKWIM?

Maybe this recent post in another thread with links helps you assess where you are at or give you links to think about.

We need to talk more but we're also due to just have some one on one hang time too and I'm kind if sick of this poly discussion stuff dominating our times together right now. Is that fairly normal, for poly discussion to take an inordinate amount of attention initially?
And how do you see it working out when one of you has another partner? You will need alone time together as well as (her + X) or (you + x) time. This is the same thing. Just that "X" right now is not a person, but polytalks. Set a time aside for it. Friday nights at 8 PM or something.

Practice the time management skills required now.

And yes, it's normal for the new shiny thing to suck up a lot of time/interest because it's a strange new experience. Again, give it time for the "new normal" to become normal. Right now it's "poly talking." Maybe you want that to feel OLD before adding another new thing of "poly dating." There's no RACE here.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-05-2013 at 03:57 PM.
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